Saturday, August 14, 2010

If I Die Young

It will be because of stress, and said stress making me push myself too hard during a run. Obviously, things haven't been going my way and my training has been kinda wayward. I run when I can, and when I can isn't very often. So my lack of updating is due to my lack of real training. Not that I'm not running I'm just not really training. I'm still running, but more for my sanity and more like "Oh Ok I have twenty minutes lets get two miles in and head to work stinky."


In the last two weeks, I have worked nearly 200 hours. No lie. Two jobs, and one coming to an end really took a toll on me: mentally, physically and emotionally. My head and my heart are in a million different directions, and my to-do lists have escalated and when I sit down to accomplish something I'm ignoring something else that has equal priority. Like right now? I smell so bad. I need a shower, clean and do laundry-my poor husband wore his swim trunks out last night. HE could easily do the laundry but it still made me feel guilty.


When push comes to shove, me and my family priorities fall by the wayside and everything else comes first. It's just a huge character flaw. THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE. So I did. I resigned from a position, and had my last day yesterday. It was so bittersweet, and I cried my whole way home. It's hard for me to be the one to "give up" or "quit" especially on such a personal employment and commitment. But the bottom line is this: if I didn't stop this commitment my other commitments would ultimately terminate because of my lack of focus.


I know this post doesn't seem to be directly about running, or marathoning or being a dog-mom-but it is. Indirectly. Whatever it is you commit to do, you really have to have to confidence and desire to put 100% and sometimes even 70% will get you there-but if you commit to five things how do you give 100% or even 70%? You can't. Exerting yourself 20% gets mediocre results.




Ya'll know how I feel about mediocrity.


I finally feel like I'm getting caught up on sleep, and laid around this morning until about 10. Golaith whined all morning, and I had no reason not to run this morning. After a week of ignoring my 5am alarms to run-I finally laced up and press start on the 405.

As hot as it has been, it was VERY decent outside. Very decent? That makes no sense, but I think 86 degrees with 70% humidity and the heat index at 93degrees calls for "very decent."
Goliath and I had an awesome 10k run. I stopped frequently to let him drink, and cool off-so don't call me negligent. We have a need to feel that thunder, so we pushed 9s and then a negative splits of 8s. Amazing run, and I don't think I've been this sweaty in weeks. Heat exhaustion tried to set in, I felt myself getting chills around mile 5-so I took out the headphones to pay closer attention to my body, eased up and ultimately finished strong.


On a run like this, I know DOMS will arrive sooner than later so I'm off to spend a solid half hour on my foam roller.


Mileage: 10k
Time: 50:02.15

4 comments:

~Jessica said...

Oh... oh hai there...

From now on you're referred to as "6pak Jules". Congrats on the great run! Sorry to hear about you having to give up the job. I know exactly how ya feel about mediocrity!

Mrs. W said...

I Lurve you!

holly @ couchpotatoathlete said...

I think we have the same foam roller -- except mine is black. I love it.

I agree 100% with what you said. I understand it was hard to resign from a job, but you have to look at your priorities (FAMILY! SELF!) and see what will fit in and what won't. You need to do what is right for you!

Kandyce said...

You look amazing Julia!

Hopefully things will get better soon, physically, emotionally and mentally. Like you, my running now has almost been cut down to nothing.