Recipe: Redneck Fried Chicken

WOOO DOOGGGIE!!

So you say you want to be a redneck?  Well then you gotta know how to fry up tha good schtuff.

I am not really a redneck, but sometimes I pretend to be-especially on days when I whip out the deep fryer and start talking with my accent that Logan pokes fun at. 

Truth be told though, my momma was the Queen Bee of Louisiana Fried Chicken, and that's where I learned the tricks of the trade. 

Now Listen here, I'm not sharing my Mom's secrets, just mine-which are a good combination of my Mom's recipe and Paula Deans disgustingly delicious heart attack disasters.

What you need...

-1 Whole Chicken

-A sharp knife

-2 Eggs

-1/3 c of milk

-Hot Sauce (optional)
-Paper sack

-2 Cups flour, all purpose

-Salt and Pepper to taste

-Garlic

-Paprika

-Oil to fry in, preferably peanut but vegetable, canola, etc works

How you do it...

1. Grab the chicken by the butt hole and piece that baby like you know what you're doing.  I guess you could be a total poser and buy it already pieced, but that's your prerogative I guess. In case you don't have google, you will get: 2 wings, 2 drumsticks, 2 thighs, and 2 breasts with oysters, so 8 servings. Let these babies sit for a minute to relax, being cut up is stressful. 

2. Whip up your egg wash.  Combine egg and milk in a bowl and whip up.  If you want spicy chicken, add your hott sauce to the wash, and to a desired amount according to your spice-o-meter.

3. Shake up your coating.  Combine flour, salt and pepper, garlic and paprika in a paper bag.  All the aforementioned should be according to your taste. For the record, when it comes to fried chicken the more salt the better.  I know, I know...sodium is bad but honestly, you are already eating fried chicken right?

sick set up bro, easy chicken frying factory line

4. At the point, you should begin to heat up your oil.  If you have a deep fryer you shouldn't worry because ZAP! it's ready, but if you are going to use a boiler it will take a few minutes.  To test to see if your oil is ready, dip you fingers in...if you skin falls off it's ready. No, I kid.  Run water over your fingers and flick it in.  If it dances and pops, you're ready to go.  If you are using a deep fryer, it should be at at least 360degrees.



Say 'ello to mah little frand



5. The rest is easy as pie, not that the beginning was hard. Each piece of chicken needs to be individually bathed in the egg wash, rub each piece tenderly with affection.  Once they have been baptized into the egg wash, drop them into the paper sack with the dry goods.  Only do one or two pieces at a time, to ensure each gets coated evenly and they don't bump elbows and rub the coating off each other.

Coated chicken nibbles

6. With tongs grab the chicken and immediately submerge in hot oil.  White meat needs to cook for about 10 minutes, or until golden brown.  Dark meat takes a little longer about 12 minutes.

7. When ready, take out of oil and place onto paper towel laden plate to sop up excess oil.  Allow to cool, but not too much.

8. Mouthgasm.

This picture sucks. Sorry.



Cream Cheese Enchiladas

Do you ever bite into a food and immediately regret it? Not because it's so high in calories you might have to break out the elastic pant suit, but because it's so deliciously good you are already sad that it's going to be over soon. It's so sick-emotional ride I put myself on every time I make cream cheese enchiladas. But DARNIT, I love them, just hate to see them leave. It's such a simple little pleasure, that causes world's best mouthgasm for me. I don't need all those crazy spices and your rare and interesting vegetables for foreplate (get it?! omg so clever). Gimme the bare bones, simpleton foods and I'm yours for the night.

Cream Cheese Enchilada Melt Down
-1lb of lean meat of your choice: I usually shred chicken, but these are ground beef
-1 package of cream cheese
-1 can of fat free re fried beans
-Enchilada sauce, you can get the cans-I make my own but top secret recipe
-1 bag of Mozzarella cheese
-Tortillas, the above are white corn tortillas

Easiest things ever: cook your meat, season as desired (I saute in coarsely diced onions and garlic and season with cumin, and pepper). Get a ginormous bowl, add meat, cream cheese, beans and your desired amount of enchilada sauce, I usually add about 1 1/2 cups. STIR!! Grab a glass 13x9 baking pan, spray with cooking spray. Grab a tortilla, fill with a spoonful of mix, roll up and REPEAT. Fill the pan, cover the rolls in more enchilada sauce and sprinkle with moz cheese. Baked for about 25-30 mins at 350 degrees, on until cheese is all melty and gooey.

Eat your little brains out.

Cherry Glazed Chops

All you need:

1 pork chop

2 tsp olive oil

1 clove garlic

1/2 c fresh cherries

1/4 tsp brown sugar

salt and pepper

1. Heat oil in an ion pan over med-high, saute diced garlic in oil until fragrant
2. Add pitted and halved cherries to hot oil, and cook until soft.
3. Salt and pepper the chop, and toss in pan, allow the cherries to inundate the chop, but not sit under it.
4. Brown on both sides, add brown sugar to the top of the chop and scoop up cherries and put on top as well. Turn the head to medium, and cover the pan so steam can not escape for two minutes.
5. eat.
   

Chicken Nugs

OK I know my recipes are crap, but this is one I've been asked about several times:

3 Chicken breast, cut into cubes

2 Cups cornmeal

1/2 c flour

3 tbsp garlic powder

3 tsp pepper

1 tsp salt

Paper sack

Olive oil, or canola, probably about 3 tbsps-give or take

1. Add dry ingredients to paper sack

2. Put cubed chicken in paper sack

3. Shake, shake shake senora

4. Put coated nuggets in hot oil (heat oil before, and test by adding a drop of water)

5. Cook until golden brown, on all sides

6. Eat with honey mustard :)

Maple Rubbed Pork Chops

My recipes are little unorthodox, not a lot of measuring goes on at the Bosky House, but these chops are my favorite. Like I'd eat them every other day, if I could. Grilling them gives a nice mesquite smokey flavor with the rub, tossing them in a cast-iron pan with olive oil will toast the chop and give it a yum-o robust flavor. I recommend both.

The rub is equal parts:
-Maple syrup
-Red Chili Powder
Then a few teaspoons of:
-Garlic
-Cumin
-Brown sugar
Pinches of:
-salt
-black pepper

Can't Say It's All Been Time Lost

The frustration of being so close to a goal and continually experiencing set backs is absolutely, well frustrating. There are four pounds between me and the door to Goal-atopia. Actually, there WERE four pounds. Before I even officially weighed in at Weight Watchers, I knew. I almost skipped out of going to the meeting, and even when I got there I almost skipped weighing myself. Regardless, I stepped on the little platform and tried to muster up an excuse to the receptionist but the only thing that came out was: "I don't...I don't even know..." Honestly, I don't know what happened. If I take anything away from this though, I think it just goes to show that you can do everything right and still gain three pounds. Yup, three pound gain.

Good news is, that pretty lady on the right lost five pounds. Whatta jerk. That's my mom, and my biggest cheerleader.

Tears did breach on my drive home, and I may or may not have punched the steering wheel. I couldn't wait to get home to make pancakes, drenched in butter and syrup. Oh whatever, it's a cliche for a reason right? Feed your feelings and all that. You may be relieved to know, I came home and stood in my kitchen and resolved to eat oatmeal and strawberries. Not because it was the healthier option, but because I simply was too lazy to scratch up pancakes. Yup too lazy to throw a few ingredients in a bowl. This is an instance where lazatude works in my favor in the end.

After my low cholesterol meal, I got the spouse out of bed and by some grace of God convinced him to go running with us. Seriously...guys, is the world ending? Am I dying? Don't get me wrong, the guy is in shape-but naturally. He weighs a buck fifty, at five foot nine and is leaner than Jennie-O turkey. The last time he went out for a run was over a year ago when I first started. We went for a mile, and walked another-it was cold, at night and neither of us really enjoyed it. More than twelve months later, one of us has had an affair with running and the other turned a blind eye.

So maybe I was so excited that he was coming out with Goliath and I, that I may have set a rather lofty distance goal. Four miles. Over zealousness aside, I DID ask him how fast he thought he could run: 8 minute mile? 9? 10? 11? He just told me "Not very fast at all," so allow me to translate: 8 minute/mile. After our first half mile, it was clear that four miles was absurd. I wouldn't have expected that out myself a year ago-so why would I do that to him? Who's the jerk now? We ran 2.23 miles and stopped.

We retraced out treads home, just at twice the pace. Walking was a nice change of, well pace for me. The trail looked different, Goliath had more time to explore and I was able to note all the different people out training. It's fun for me to watch other runners, sometimes I write little stories about them in my head. Oh that guy is a three-time Boston Marathoner, he started running in high school and never gave it up. I like to watch their form, what gear they have and how fast they go. I get excited about it, and there's never any judgement passed I just love the sport.

Our little family was super hungry, and with a mile left to go it was decided that Logan deserved a hamburger for coming out with me. Even though it will probably be another year before I can drag him out, I was so thankful that when we got home I made him a giant burger. Giant burgers are not strangers in our home, in fact Big Burger Sunday is kind of notorious with us.

This was his burger, and this was mine:

Notice any difference? Shh...don't tell anyone but mine is half black beans. I don't discriminate foods, but I am a self-proclaimed hamburger connoisseur. When I first started Weight Watchers, it was the one food I was not willing to substitute or find a low calorie/low fat version. That is, until now. Until I gained three pounds. To make your own Big Black Bean Burger just combine 1/3 cup ground beef(or turkey), 1 tbsp egg white, 1/2 cup black bean and season with Worcestershire and black pepper.

Today's Mileage: 4.53
Time: 1:16:40

Forever and Ever, Forever and Ever. Amen.

The difference positivity makes is remarkable. I have had one of the best fitness weeks of my life, and I believe I owe thanks to an attitude adjustment-and maybe the sun coming out. My calorie burn has been off the charts between speedy runs and work out classes at the gym. My diet has been completely on point and I feel fantastic. Where did this new found motivation come from? I love it, and I have a feeling a certain pup loves it to. As I type, he's crying at the door because we've yet to hit the pavement and knows our usual time has passed.

Yesterday's work out class was incredibly difficult, incredibly. I THOUGHT it was a kickboxing class, but it was really a boot camp. A boot camp full of burpies, frog jumps, wall sits and other completely insane things. There will be a full review once the experiment is complete, but let's just say after an hour of that I was exhausted. BUT the weather was just too gorgeous to not run in, so I mapped an eight miler to work and intentionally didn't give myself enough time to pace less than an 8:30/mile. Fifty degrees means I get to run in a tank and shorts, thank yoooouuuu:

It's kind of a bum out not running with G-Money, it's such a different-less-fun vibe. He makes me laugh when I wanna cry because of lactate pain and his curiosity of what comes next keeps me going. Other than races, and running to work I don't run without him and it's a million times less motivating. So when I completed eight yesterday all on me onsie, in record time I was pretty impressed with myself. I rely so much on the poor dog, that I do kinda forget that I am capable of running on my own. I don't need him, but when I arrived at work and there wasn't anyone there to celebrate with me I realized I want him to be there. I've trained Goliath to give "high fives" and so after a harrowing run, we collapse on the living room floor and I will say "High five buddy" and he'll raise his paw into my hand. When his rough paws tap my palm, I know we've had a good run.

There are few things more rewarding than that high-five, except good food. By no means am I "foodie," but I really love eating, and since my whole weight loss marathon started I've become exponentially smarter about food choices when it comes to fuel, runners gut, caloric intake and nutrition. The only rule I follow: Keep it simple. The foods I eat, and the recipes I come up with are simple in that they contain very few ingredients, are not processed and are relatively easy to make. Some examples:

Raw pepper stuffed with black beans and rosemary rice couscous
.1 bell pepper
.1 c cooked black beans
.1/2 c couscous seasoned with rosemary, and a pinch of salt
Directions: Cut&gut the pepper, stuff with beans and couscous. Eat.
To spice it up top with favorite cheese and bake or five minutes.

Shrimp Arrabiatta and Gluten Free Penne
. 1 box of penne (Mine if GF, your's doesn't have to be
. 1 lb of shrimp
. 4 cups broccoli
. 3 cups diced tomatoes
. 4 tbsp tomato paste
.4 cloves of diced garlic
.4 tsp olive oil
.Red pepper to taste
Directions: Boil pasta until finished, duh. Heat oil in pan on med-high heat, add garlic and then shrimp. Cook shrimp until pink. Add broccoli and cook until bright green. Add diced tomatoes and paste, and turn heat to medium heat. Add red pepper, 1 tsp for less spice 4 tsp for extra spice. Let simmer for three minutes for the pepper to permeate the sauce. Serve sauce on top of pasta, duh.

These are two meals I had this week, super filling and super yummy. Super Food!

Well, Goliath has whimpered throughout this post. Dog park, ho!

Yesterday's Mileage: 8.01 miles
Time: 1:09:13

Just Like Honey from a Bee

Goliath and I rested today. Well, I rested and Goliath ran around in circles. You can rest easy, I will be fitted for new shoes tonight so our tempo Saturday, and long run Sunday will not be interrupted.

If you know anything about me, you know I didn't gain weight eating carrots. I bake and cook a lot, and on days where I have a full morning I like to spend it researching new recipes and tailoring it to my wants, and my husband's sugar tooth.

After a recent conversation with a friend, and pregnancy like cravings from the Mister I attempted Oatmeal Cream Pies ala Little Debbie.

You are thus warned, that the following pictures contain pornographic material of the food nature:

The recipe was found at Recipe Zaar, and I made slight modifications.

Ingredients:

1 cup butter

3/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 white sugar

1 tblsp molasses

1 tsp vanilla

2 eggs

1 1/2 cups flour

1/2 tsp salt

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp cinnamon

1 1/2 cups Old Fashion Oats

Cream Filling:

2 tbsp HOT water

1/2 tsp salt

7 oz marshmallow cream

1/2 cup shortening

2/3 cup powder sugar

2 tsp vanilla

1. Mix flour, salt, baking soda and cinnamon in a bowl.

2. Cream butter, and sugars. Beat eggs in one at a time, then add vanilla and molasses.

4. Add flour slowly, beating in. Stir oats in with wooden spoon.

5. Round tablespoon of dough onto parchment paper, and bake at 350 degrees until edges brown. You want the cookie to be slightly moist. Let cool on tray.

6. For the cream filling, dissolve the salt in the hot water.

7. Mix all other filling ingredients for 3 minutes on high, then add cooled salt water and mix well.

8. Spread filling on flat end, press another cookie on top.

9. Enjoy immediately, or set completely in fridge for an hour.