Friday, July 30, 2010

Gotta Let Go

I did it. I put aside the fear, and got up and ran this morning. AANNNND I was *this* close to not. Yes, I legit almost put it off another day. It really had been a full week since I last ran, so the fear of sucking was added to my health concerns. We've discussed this before, you know? That sinking rock in your gut telling you how hard it's going to be when you start again. Knowing that you won't be able to be as good as you were, even it was only one week. Fitness takes months to build, and days to lose.



When you miss a day of training, it's no big deal to jump right back and start where you left off. But what do you do when you miss a full week, including a long run? There's debate on what's beneficial and let's face it, practical. Do you attempt to make up mileage, so your weekly mileage isn't touched? Do you just dive in, as if you haven't missed the last vital work outs? Whatever you should do, I made my decision on what I knew I could handle. Four miles. Which also happens to be in line with today's scheduled run anyway. So win-win? Maybe.


Really, I don't have any weeks to spare with training so missing one kinda...sucks. Not even kinda, it just does. I don't have time to worry about things, and I don't have time to stress the miles. I only have time to get it done, and not think about it.



So I got it done. Goliath and I ran four, a 2x2-and he wanted to dilly-dally in the creek, and chase squirrels, but not today. We forged two miles out, and we forged two miles back. It was almost like I need to proved to myself that I could still run, and well prove to everyone on the trail too. There are days, that I still feel like that chubby girl trying to lose weight and I wonder if that's what people see me as. Does it even matter, Julia? Does it even matter? No, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it.

I guess in a lot of ways I am still the chubby girl trying to lose weight if I continue to doubt myself as much as I did this week.

Total Mileage: 4.0
Time: 38:09

4 comments:

kate said...

you are beautiful and an inspiration. ♥

holly @ couchpotatoathlete said...

You got out there and did it. You should be so proud!

Mrs. W said...

You can do it!

Also a side note, Goliath made me laugh drinking out of the fountain!

Jeanne said...

All that matters is that you got out there and did it!

On a side note, I saw a lady running the other day with her God attached to her, it reminded me of your blog!